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I don’t mind getting older.
I embrace it mostly.

True, my eye-sight isn’t exactly what it was even 5 years ago and my knees crack a lot when I walk up the stairs, but I’ve also gained more confidence in who I am, finally know what I want to be when I do finally grow up, and have learned how much fun it is to just let go, be silly and dance! — but still not in public.

However, there is one thing about getting older that I am just not OK with.

Grey hair.

Now I’m not theoretically against grey hair.
Just grey hair on my own head.
I’m just not ready for it.

I always claimed I would dye my hair until the day I die when I was younger, But now, I don’t really like dying my hair. I mean, I don’t even wear make-up on most days, why would I go through the hassle?

However, that still leaves me with grey hair.

So I do the only reasonable, mature thing I know.
I pull them & pretend that it never happened.

Only, at some point I’m going to have to stop doing that — or I’ll pull out all my hair.
sigh*

How about you? Do you have grey hair yet? What’s your method of coping?

xoxo Lori Danelle

Last night, in a completely random moment I decided it had been far too long since I have had my hair cut.
Nearly 2 years in fact.

So I grabbed some scissors and started taking about 2″ off.

About 1/2 through — otherwise known as the back of my head where I can no longer see what I’m doing — I realized that this may not have been the wisest course of action.

Oh well, at least it’s really long, so there’s still a lot there for someone who actually knows what they’re doing to take over. I did get it presentable, but I may have some explaining to when I do get in front of a hairdresser.  :)

xoxo Lori Danelle

A funny thing happens when you write a post about rejection for all the world to see. Other women come out of hiding and find the courage to admit that they too know that feeling all too well. In addition, it seems that every message God has been sending my way have been to expose the lies I’ve believed and offer healing in his truth.

You see, rejection isn’t the problem. No, it doesn’t feel too great, but the real problem is the lies we accept as truth because of rejection.

I’m not enough.
I’m not pretty enough.
I’m not talented enough.
I’m not 3 enough.
I don’t wear the right clothes.
The list goes on and on. . .

This weekend, my family made a stop at LifeWay as my husband wanted to purchase a Bible study. The girls and I did a little browsing as well, though I didn’t have any intentions of buying anything, I was just curious what was available. Then I saw a book written by a woman named Holley Gerth who I had recently met at Blissdom. I was a little excited since I haven’t met too many authors. I picked it up and read the title: You’re Already Amazing.  (Hmm.) Then I read the back cover:

Psst . . . pull up a chair and I’ll tell you a secret. You’d better lean in close for this one.

 Ready?

You don’t have to do more, be more, have more. 

I’m sure there are security alarms going off somewhere. You should probably hide this book when your in-laws come over. 

But it’s true.

It’s the kind of true that will change your life, set you free, and make you wake up smiling for the first time in a long time. I know because that’s what it did for me. . . .

So watch out, sister. If you keep reading you just might be next. 

Oh boy. This book was coming home with me.

If God had been nudging me towards truth, this was a whiffle-ball bat up side the head full of truth that is speaking directly to my heart. And she’s saying some pretty outlandish things — true things, but wild by what I currently, and incorrectly, believe. One thing that she writes that is sticking out to me is this passage:

. . . God finished the sentence: “You are not enough . . . in me you are so much more.”

• We are much more than pretty . . .we are wonderfully made. 
• We are much more than likeable . . . we are deeply loved.
• We are much more than okay . . .we are daughters of the King. 

I think the enemy tricks us into believing we are not enough because he knows if we discover the truth, we’ll be unstoppable.

I wish I could put everything she says here in this post as succinctly and convincingly as she does. But there’s an reason I don’t know many authors. I am not one. And I’m just grasping these truths for myself. However, if you struggle with that little voice in your head telling you that you are not enough, I strongly encourage you to pick up Holley’s book.

I’m so excited about what I’m reading, and desperately want each of you to cease believing those lies that have been in our life for so long, that I’m going to go out and buy another copy of You’re Already Amazing just so I can give it to one of you. I wish I could give a copy to each of you, but I may be enough, but unfortunately, I’m not rich. . . 

To enter, please just leave a comment below and a way for me to contact you. For extra entries, tweet about the giveaway with a link back here. Just make sure you leave another comment telling me you did so!  I’ll announce the winner on Friday.

I’m serious when I say I wish I could buy a book for each and every one of you. With each comment that has come in, either on this blog, on Facebook, or directly to my email inbox, I’ve been both relieved to know that I’m not alone, but heartbroken that anyone else feels the pain of never feeling like they are enough or fit in. So regardless of whether you win or not, know that I’m praying for you. As Holley also says in the very first chapter, this life isn’t a competition. We’re sisters. Sisters who complement and complete each other. Perhaps that doesn’t resonate with you the way it does me, but to me that means that we’re in this together! So let’s see what happens when we start believing, really believing, that “you’re daughter of God, a holy princess, a woman created with strengths you’ve yet to fully grasp and a story that’s still being written by the divine Author himself.”

I don’t talk a ton about my faith on my blog, but I do try to be real & share the things that I’ve been thinking on or I’m excited about. Recently, I’ve started following a Bible study by Cindy Beall, along with my friend Gussy and the other ladies over at SheReadsTruth.com in an effort to read my Bible daily & have a group of ladies holding me accountable.

Day 3 has been particularly standing out in my mind. The passage discussed was Acts 1:23–26 and relates when the disciples were replacing Judas as 1 of the 12 disciples. It depicts how 1 man was chosen & 1 was not; how 1 man faced incredible rejection.

At the end Cindy poses the question “Are there areas of your life where you are still holding onto rejection?” I’ve had disappointments in my life, someone was chosen over me, that sort of thing that is more a direct correlation to what was illustrated in the passage, but when I sat there thinking, the only thing that came to mind was one day in the 5th grade.

I remember exaclty how I felt. I remember exactly what I was wearing. It was the first time I had chosen to wear that particular dress to school and I ended the day thinking it must be the most horribly ugly dress ever. I remember how I wore my hair — in low pigtails. I felt so ridiculous for thinking that pigtails (pigtails?!?!) were a good idea. By the end of the day I felt ugly, unloved & small.

I still don’t really know the “why” behind what transpired that day. I don’t think I did anything of significance to bring it one, but after 20+ years some of the details are fuzzy.

I went to a small private school. In the 5th grade there were 7 girls in my class, including myself. On the day that I’ve been describing, all 6 of them completely ignored me and were rude to me the few times that they did acknowledge me. For an 11 year old, that was bad enough, but amongst those 6 girls was also a very dear friend I have known since birth. Literally. We grew up together and have always been incredibly close. But for some reason, that day the instigator in this scenario had even convinced her to be mean to and ignore me.

I was crushed and couldn’t understand it. If only I were prettier, had more stylish clothes, was more [fill in the blank], perhaps they wouldn’t be doing this to me.

As I  was reading the devotional for the day & thinking about that day in the 5th grade — I was crying. 20+ year later, and I’m crying.

I’ve since been wondering how much I’ve allowed that 1 day when I was 11 to shape who I am today. Am I still afraid of feeling that same rejection at 32?

In new friendships, I’m constantly afraid of being a bother. I feel like they’re doing me a favor by allowing be to spend time with them and assume they’d much rather I just left them alone, especially when there’s a group of us and particularly when I’m new to that group. So I’m timid, cautious not to offend or push my luck with their graciousness.

To be honest, I haven’t worked this out yet. I’m still in a place where that hurt is still pretty raw. I know that I long for deep friendship, but am scared to make myself vulnerable to what that takes. I have a feeling others of you have had similar rejection & challenge us to allow God into those places of hurting and not allow something that happened so many years ago to cripple us any longer.

What do you think? Can you relate? Are you willing to let go of this rejection, not allow it to control you anymore & live the life God has meant for you?

xoxo Lori Danelle